So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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