Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
