Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
