The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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