I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
