I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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