with your own penis?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
