I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
