we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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