haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
