C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
