She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize