the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
