just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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