He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
