Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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