she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize