i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
