my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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