you traded sex for a burrito?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
