I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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