its not stalking. its research.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
