What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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