I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
