Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"

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(480): View more from Arizona

I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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(240): View more from Maryland

boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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(956): View more from Texas

while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"

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(217): View more from Illinois

He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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(779): View more from Illinois

explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?

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(713): View more from Texas

She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.

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(805): View more from California

I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?

(1-805): View more from California

Nah.

(805): View more from California

I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE

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