i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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