Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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