I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
