your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
