If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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