you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
