We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize