she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
