porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
