The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm passing your future prison.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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