your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can Purell be used as lube?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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