had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just invented taco cereal.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
