You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
