I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
