I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
