sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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