I'm drive I can fine osifer
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
