Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize