Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
there is puke in my bra ... again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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