I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
