brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
