I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
