why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So here I am, sexting at work.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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