You're completely useless in the revolution.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
