WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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