I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
