hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
