hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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