he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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