if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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