apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
