i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dicks are not precious.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
