haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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