just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
