So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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