I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's just like the Real World with babies
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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