ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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