Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
