I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
