Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
