One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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